Natural Beauties – Aphrodite Rises from the Sea
We are in paradise where beach living is what millions of travelers have come to Bali for. A complete change from the ultra dress/body conservative norms of India. There you will recall my challenges of fitting into a society where women were expected to be wrapped up in six yards of beautiful sari drapery and a full petticoat beneath. There I conformed and draped myself in long, multiple layers against all sensibilities of fighting 45 degree temperatures.
Bali Dress Code Adopted!
Bali life is so much different. It is expected that on your arrival, you will roam the shop lined lanes and buy an assortment of skimpy clothes – mini-shorts, sun dresses, bikinis and sarongs. And everyone does and then parades the streets and the beach modelling their new body freedom look! Yes, dear friends, I too have conformed to the Bali Beach Dress Code and have outfitted myself with a new bikini and matching cover wrap, two sun dresses and a halter top. Bare shoulders, legs and a fair bit of cleavage is my new look!
Our Friend Maxine – Bikini Fits the Pregnant Belly Perfectly!
OK, so there are a few little hang ups I am trying to deal with in this new look. First of all, I have not worn halter tops since I was in my early twenties, at which time I was exercising my first feminist activism by not wearing a bra! In those days, I held up on my own if you know what I mean! Sadly as a result of that little rebellion, the “old girls” are now more prone to the forces of gravity. So, to combat that and my last degree of modesty, I wear a bathing top to hold myself together under the new halters!
What were we thinking in those 70’s Maternity Bathing Suits!?
Then there is stepping “out” in my bikini! For 31 years I have covered my belly up to the naval, in keeping with the “hide your body, you have stretch marks code” that was deeply ingrained into me and most women of my era. An era that encoded us with strict Victorian modesty rules, with a media fixation on body beauty that was achieved by only a small percentage of women, most of whom battle their own body neurosis to stay in that group! Media continues to play on our dislike for our bodies with their “exposees of celebrity cellulite”. Confess dear friends, how many of you stop and stare in a mixture of intrigue and horror at the National Enquirer in the Sooke grocery store line up to see which beautiful star has thighs just like us!
Proud Russian Mothers Bare All at the Russian Surfing Competition!
So how do I fight a life time of cowering under my old bag dresses that hid the fact that I actually have a body, and feel presentable on the beach amongst all the drop dead gorgeous babes!? Honestly at 53, I am still lamenting the loss of my 21 year old body! One look in the mirror at my very grey hair and sagging body parts, my age reality check is sinking in! A girl could get depressed about it all, but it appears here in Bali, that anything goes. I have made a daily observation of beach women and am relieved to see that amongst the many young beauties, there are lots of beautiful women with kids in tow happy to be in their skin and bikinis. Beautiful pregnant women, large women, old women all just glad to be in the sun and waves and not hung up about their bodies.
OK, really, this is my reality check!
Living here in our little grass hut on Balangan Beach for four weeks has taught me a few things and shifted my own body views. I live in my bikini and have found that tying the top a notch tighter than necessary holds the old girls up, keeping my spine straight keeps my little belly in and lying down on the beach lounge chairs has a better effect on the gravitational pull of my saggy bits. I still wince as I step onto the beach but sucking in my belly and dashing out into the sea feels OK. I am learning to like my body and accept that I should start looking at myself in this 53 year old body, not visualizing that little babe I once was at 21!
I think I am there – one with myself!
The more I remain mostly exposed, basking in the warm sun, the more I think we need to change our way of thinking and encourage near or complete nudity from an early age on. It won’t seem like such a big issue in shedding most of your clothes in public! I am envious of the freedom the little Bali children have as they romp and play naked on the beach each day. Get out there girls and love yourself and all your beauty!
Thank you Mary for such a candid, honest and lovely exposure of your feelings and this issue! I am with you all the way and know exactly how you feel! I think you are beautiful, especially when you smile…we come from a culture that reveres the beauty of youth, not the wisdom of the elders. Are we surprised that our society has the problems it has? Keep it up and enjoy the ride!!!!
Love, Sheryl
It looks like you’re having such a great time, and I think every woman who has ever struggled with body image (which is practically every woman!) should read this post. Good for you for embracing who you are. God I wish I was somewhere where I could wear my swimsuit day in and day out. It’s warm enough here right now but I keep dreaming of the warm nights and scorching days we had at the beginning of July. Were going up to Parksville soon which I suppose is the closest I’ll get to Bali on the Vancouver Island.
Keep up with the blog posts, I love reading them!
xoxo – Maggie ❤
Hi Mary babydoll,
Nancy and I are here rolling on the floor laughing and loving your latest entry!!! You ARE such a babe in your swimsuit as we look longingly at your suntanned body in our pj’s that are 4 sizes too big for us!!! nancy says that you are a great writer and if the book Eat Pray Love has sold millions of copies, your book will undoubtedly sell more!! You rock girlfriend!! I am having the best time here in gorgeous Rhode Island with Nancy and fambly, the best time!!! You are so beautiful Mary, embrace your new found body freedom and flaunt it sister cause you’ve got it goin’ on!!! Love reading your blogs, they are the best!!! Keep it up sister, love to you and Matt,
Joansie and Nancy in East Greenwich, Rhode Island
xxxxxxooooooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Mary – never forget – you are a babe!
Much fun reading about your fantastic travels with Matt
Gorgeous photos. Enjoy & we’ll connect when you return .
Hugs from Sooke
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